1. |
Heroin Diet
04:56
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2. |
Mistress Jen
04:05
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Let me introduce myself, I'm a bit of brute
I'll stomp on you with my big black boot
I'm the kinda girl who won't put up with any crap
Come over here boy and put your head in my lap
I'll make you beg I'll make you grunt
I'll make you crawl up my leg and kiss my --
I think about sex and who I want it with next
I think about the world would be better if run by me
Now that you're mine
I'm gonna do what I want with you
Just call me Mistress Jen
Don't worry, Babe
Just do what I tell you to
Just call me Mistress .....Jen
Told me once you'd do anything for me
Even offered to steal a flower for me
Got excited with my growing abuse
"Beautiful Trouble" is what you called me
Get down on the floor and crawl around like a worm
I get a big kick out of watching you squirm
I'm a saucy dominatrix with a bad attitude
Some of my songs are just a little bit rude
I talk about sex and how I want it done next
I talk about how the world would be better if run by me
Now that you're mine
I'm gonna do what I want with you
Just call me Mistress Jen
Don't worry, Babe
Just do what I tell you to
My name is Mistress .....Jen
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3. |
Freaky Things
04:14
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I have a morbid fascination with the sight of blood
I stare deep into flesh wounds at their oozing red mud
Horror movies and murder mysteries just don't do it for me anymore
I like those real life forensic autopsy shows
I like to look at things that are dead
I like to watch what happens when I kick' em in the head
That look on my face, that curious stare
is like a motorist slowing down to look at a car crash
I'm a freaky person, and I like to sing about freaky places and freaky things When I'm feeling low, all I have to do is take a good look at all of you
I have a morbid fascination with the criminally insane
I wanna know about the pleasure that they get from giving pain
I could listen to delusions for hours and hours
Paranoid hallucinations never get sour
I wanna know how sick a person can be
Psychopaths, serial killers, bring them to me!
That look on my face, that curious stare
is like a motorist slowing down to look at a car crash
I have a morbid fascination with the outside world
Especially the things that make your stomach curl
If it's ugly, gross, or weird then I wanna see
For my inflated sense of superiority
Television is my source of filth
A picture show of Society's ills
That look on my face, that curious stare
is like a motorist slowing down to look at a car crash
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4. |
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Mama said it's just as easy
To love a rich man as it is one poor
But rich guys just don't turn my crank
I like the starving artist types more
Those guitarists, you know what I mean
They're real good with their hands
That's why I always go for the guys who play in bands
My best friend told me
Musicians are only good for one thing
Your poor heart would be better off
If you just have a casual fling
I should have listened
I should have taken their advice when I met you
But I fell for you hard and fast before I could think it through
You told me you'd only be gone for 3 weeks
And then it turned into 3 months
Would it have killed you, in all that time
To pick up the phone more than once
Well I was missing you, and I had nothing to do
So I needed an escape
That's when I turned to drugs
It was all I could do to scrape
It started when I went with the girls to a dance rave one crazy night
I took a hit off of an ice pipe and it was dynamite
That euphoric feeling made me forget about our empty abode
So I got hooked on crystal meth while you were on the road
Young girl groupies were making eyes at you
While I had no one I was stuck at home so bored and lonely
While you were out there having fun
So I took up a hobby, a habit
I was in autopilot mode
When I got hooked on crystal meth
While you were on the road
All the times I called and said I need more money
I wasn't straight with you
If fact I wasn't even straight at all
The bugs were scratchin' my skin through
Well, I was cranking and tweaking
And crashing and burning
Hadn't slept for ten days and it showed
When I got hooked on crystal meth
While you were on the road
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5. |
WWW Dot Com
03:19
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I'm starting up an internet company
Won't you invest in me
Next year I'm gonna make you $20 million
No seriously
I've got business model that's so innovative
It's already being copied
Gonna spend a lot on a really wicked site and then
Get all my products for free
W W W Dot Com
I'm starting up an internet company
Won't you come work for me
There's a lot of stress and damage control
But you'll get a big salary
Come on and hustle everyone you know
Use all your connections for me
Whatever you do don't spend a dime
We're gonna get everything for free
W W W Dot Com
I'm starting up an internet company
Won't you distribute through me
Only 1% of products sell online
So you'll have to give them to me for free
The orders haven't started coming in yet
We'll just have to wait and see
And I just found a bug in our shopping cart
So you'll have to be patient with me
Yeah our stock price just took another dive
So you'll have to be patient with me
W W W Dot Com
I've got a floundering internet company
I'm under lots of pressure and I need somebody
To make all the decisions for me
Money's running low, it's almost gone
'Cuz I can't get anything for free
I can't afford to pay back anyone I owe
'Cuz i just bought another company
W W W Dot Com
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6. |
Fred the Cat
04:05
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He starts his whining at 4am
He sits and meows at the foot of your bed
And if you're foolish enough to keep on sleeping
He'll come along and sit on your head
He nips, he bites, he scratches, he claws
He'll use you as a doormat to wipe his paws
No matter what time it is, he wants to be fed
He's the bottomless pit that we call Fred
His name is Fred the Cat
And he's a spoiled brat
And he keeps getting fat
He'll mess with your head
He'll make you wish you were dead
He's the cat named Fred
He's always sleeping on my favourite chair
And when I try to move him, he puts up a fight
But even if you win one round with him
He'll make you pay with another sleepless night
He's a cute little fluff but he's meaner than he looks
He's grey and his belly and his paws are white
I fell for his act at the SPCA
And the only thanks I get is feline spite
He stares at you with his beady black eyes
He's an evil Twisted demon in disguise
We built a wall jungle gym for him to exercise
But he's so damn lazy, he won't even try
He's got tormenting humans down to a fine art
Trying to ignore him will just drive you insane
He raises his voice to just the right pitch
To drill a burning hole deep into your brain
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7. |
Imaginary Blues
03:39
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Gotta good life
A roof over my head
I gotta a good-paying, steady job
A good man in my bed
Yeah I got little to complain about
but that don't stop me
I'm fishing for sympathy
and soothing words to prop me
My head's in a tizzy
I'm all upset
about things that haven't even
happened yet
I'm a natural born pessimist
What can I do,
I've got the imaginary blues--
My self-serving bias
is pathologically reversed
I can't recognize a good thing
'cuz I'm convinced I'm cursed (in a way I am)
Life's little victories
I can't enjoy
What if it all ends tomorrow?
What if it's all a ploy?
My refusal to give up my sadness
is the first step on the road to madness
Worrying's the only thing
I know how to do
I've got the imaginary blues-
My problems are figments
of an under-worked mind
I make mountains out of molehills
Just because I've got the time
Don't have enough catastrophes
that are real and true
I've got the imaginary blues--
The clinically depressive, low-self-esteem-based,
negative-self-talk -inflicted im-a-gi-nar-y-----blues--
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8. |
Filthy Swine
05:00
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I'm drowning deep in the shallow pool
of your filthy mind
I'm so glad you've decided to join
The leagues of the filthy swine
I'd love to hear your jaded pearls of wisdom
over and over again
I'll be back when you're finished talking bout yourself
You just let me know when
You've been in this business for too damn long
Without any fortune or fame
Other than your small select circle of friends
Who the hell has heard your name?
You crave widespread love and approval
like you crave all the drugs you use
You need all the validation you can get
to fill the hole left by the abuse
Deep down inside, you're a sweet scared little boy
With a heart of gold
But it's you're raging ego-holic moments that
leave everybody cold
you're too busy trying to impress everyone
with your caustic wit
You have an ego like a big fat pig
Rolling around in your own shit.
You're dominating every conversation to hide
your feelings of inadequacy
You're a much nicer person when you listen
and you don't have to pitch to me
You've gotta temper and you've got more baggage
than a travelling celebrity
I'm not your mother, I'm not your ex-girlfriend
so don't take it out on me
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Mistress Jen Kitchener, Ontario
Vancouver-born keyboardist, Mistress Jen has been performing her quirky, refreshingly uncensored songs since the early 2000s, both solo and accompanied. Having played in various bands over the years, she has evolved as a songwriter with bizarrely humorous takes on sex/kink positivity, feminism, drug use, relationships, and other subjects, none of which are intended to be taken seriously at all. ... more
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